Undivided Attention

The relief you feel after overcoming the initial obstacle usually only lasts for a brief moment. I had replayed the moment in my head many times over the last few weeks, but it still caught me off guard. It only lasted a fraction of a second when I decided to ask a stranger from my street if I could photograph him.

He was a person who, despite being so conspicuous in appearance, from his posture and the way he walked, seemed as if he wanted to fly under the radar of public perception. As I walked past, I could recognize an expression that seemed familiar. That feeling. I knew it. A feeling of shyness. At the same time, a feeling of openness. Almost like vulnerability. The moment was over quickly. Too quickly to remember the face. But the decision was made. Nevertheless, it was several weeks before the moment was repeated. I recognized him from the corridor. A phantom was standing right in front of me.

My body moved in one language, but thought in another. I translated for myself. "Excuse me," I heard myself call out and was surprised. The front door, which had almost closed behind him, opened again and the undivided attention hit me with full force. I erased all my fears from my mind like a browser history. My sentences were short. I described my request. He agreed. We arranged to meet on the same day. The surprise was mutual. Neither of us let it show and I could feel it the first time I pulled the trigger. The relief you feel after the first time you get over it usually only lasts for a brief moment. The undivided attention you receive when you are being looked at through a viewfinder is often hard to bear. Now the person seemed to enjoy it. I think that surprised him himself. We spoke little. Nothing seemed to connect us except a passion for old, complicated technology. Old tattoo machines and old cameras. More craft than art.

I triggered the last one. Undivided attention on both sides. We parted ways at the traffic lights. We said our goodbyes. More neighbors than strangers.

Analog Portraits on Medium Format Film